The Roka ceremony is conducted after the prospective bride and groom have met and approved each other. The significance of the ceremony is akin to an engagement where the boy and girl give their commitment to get married to each other. After this ceremony they are free to court each other. The Roka is performed at the house of the bride-to-be. So the family and relatives of the prospective groom must go to her house for the ceremony. The ceremony consists of a simple puja that is conducted by a purohit, followed by an exchange of gifts between the two families.
Both these rituals are performed close to the wedding date. Nowadays they are combined together for the sake of convenience. The ceremonies are usually conducted in a banquet hall or a club. The purohit performs a havan (a puja in front of a sacred fire). The father of the bride-to-be applies tilak on the forehead of the groom-to-be. The bride is dressed in clothes and jewellery that have been presented to her by her future in-laws. She is also presented a red chunni (a traditional scarf) by the sister/sister-in-law of her future husband. She receives more jewellery and gifts from her in-laws as part of the ceremony. Her mother-in-law feeds her boiled rice and milk as part of the ritual. Finally, the prospective bride and groom exchange rings.
Besides the festivity and frolic that mark the days leading up to the wedding, the families of the prospective bride and groom hold a special sangeet (singing) session. Friends and close family members are invited and traditional wedding songs are sung. Sometimes professional dholwalis (female musicians who play the traditional drum) are invited for a special touch. Both the sides exchange gifts and sweets.
It is mandatory for the bride-to-be to have henna on her hands and feet. The henna is sent by the future mother-in-law of the bride-to-be. A relative, friend or a professional mehandiwali (henna artist) applies henna for the bride-to-be. The ritual is marked by festivity. The girl friends and close female relatives of the bride-to-be sing and dance joyously while the mehandi is being applied to her. The henna is usually left on overnight so that it leaves behind a rich dark hue. After the application ceremony, delicious snacks and meals are served to all present.
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